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Thinking Of Divorce Save Marriage With A Marriage Counselor

Saturday, July 10th, 2010

Are you thinking of divorce?  Save marriage by seeing a marriage counselor.  There are many therapists who say they do marriage counseling, but how do you know which ones are really good?  This article will give you a checklist of things to look for in a family therapist.

First of all, you want to see what their credentials are.  There are three basic classes of counselors.

The first is the Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor.  These people went to graduate school for a minimum of five years and wrote a dissertation.  In addition, they performed a minimum of 3000 hours of therapy under the supervision of an experienced psychologist.  In order to legally call yourself a “clinical psychologist” the person must have a doctoral level degree.  Ph.D.’s are often more academic in nature and tend to do scholarly and forensic work along with therapy.

Then there is the M.S.W.  This means Master of Social Work.  Social Workers are trained to apply social theory to specific situations.  They can work in institutions or with individuals.

Finally, there is the M.S. or M.A. in Counseling.  Often called a “Marriage and Family Therapist,” these people can only work with individuals or small groups in counseling situations.  They tend to have 2 year degrees and may not have written a thesis.  They have 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.

If you are using your insurance to cover your marriage counseling, your insurance company will probably direct you to an MSW or a Marriage and Family Therapist because they are less expensive.

Second, you have to determine what the price will be.  Clinical psychologists tend to be the most expensive while Marriage and Family Therapists are the least expensive.  Remember you are trying to stop divorce.  Save marriage by finding the best fit not the most (or least) expensive professional.

Look at the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment.

Often, therapists working in groups or non profit institutions will have a sliding scale fee based on a couple’s income.  If you qualify, this might make counseling affordable when it otherwise might not be.

Third, you need to look at the policies the therapist has.  Some of these policies include:

·    What happens if you miss or cancel a session?
·    Can you take a pre-planned vacation without having to pay for the session?
·    Will the therapist accept calls outside of the normal session?  Do they accept calls at home or just at the office?
·    Is there an alternative person you can call in an emergency?

A family counselor should help you put your family back together so that you don’t have split up.  Saving your marriage should be their ultimate goal.  If you don’t feel that you are in synch with your counselor, move on and find someone who can keep you from divorce and save marriage.

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How To Win Ex Back Battle For Her Heart

Tuesday, July 6th, 2010

Do you know how to win ex back? When a woman has left a man, she probably has a good reason, at least in her own mind. Thus, you have to be prepared to battle for her heart if you want to win ex back.

A relationship has a beginning, a middle and an end. The question is whether you are in the middle and just taking a hiatus or whether it is really over and you are at the end.

If your girlfriend wants to start the relationship anew, you need to be able to work things out on a fresh start. You should plan out your steps ahead of time if you want the new relationship to work out better than the old one did.

First of all, consider why you broke up. Were there underlying problems that plagued your relationship? If so, how can you fix them going forward?

Second, analyze why you want your ex back. Do you just feel lonely because she’s not around? If so, any woman will do. But, if you have a hole in your heart that only she will fill, that’s different.

Third, you need to become the person that she needs. Think back to what you were like when she fell in love with you. Have you changed? Did you stop doing interesting things when you devoted all of your time to her? Have you stopped going to the gym thinking that there’s no reason to stay in shape now that you’ve snagged the girl? Become the person she wants to win ex back.

Fourth, consider that the first thing you say to your ex after a break up may be the most important words ever to come out of your mouth. The wrong words can change the balance of the relationship. Don’t beg her to come back. Don’t do anything to irritate her. She probably still harbors good feelings for you and you don’t want to do anything that would change this.

Fifth, you can use the good memories you’ve built to your advantage. Talk about the good times you had. If she gave you a special sweater, wear it when you know she’s going to be around. If you can, arrange to meet at a place that has meaning for you for a quick drink.

Sixth, try to mirror her words and body language. If she uses an uncommon word, try to work it into the conversation yourself. If she places her left hand on her cheek, do the same. Don’t overdo it or be obvious, but this kind of “mirror imaging” gets you back in synch.

Seventh, let her know that you are thinking about her. Go out of your way to send her a card on her birthday. If you know she has a big review at work, send her an encouraging note.

By following these seven steps, you should be able to win ex back. As long as you are still on friendly terms, you can use your friendship to become romantic once more.

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Get Back Together With Ex Listen To Him

Monday, July 5th, 2010

Kristi was devastated. She wanted to get back together with ex boyfriend Thad. Thad had told her that he needed some “space.” Thad said that he still cared for her but didn’t want to date exclusively any more.

What should Kristi do to get back together with ex Thad? Should she call him and text him? Should she show up and flirt with his friends? Should she ignore him completely?

Actually, she should do none of these. Instead, she should listen to him.

He says that he loves her but that he needs space. While this may seem like a cliché, the truth is that many times when people use this line they mean what they say.

Sometimes a relationship just gets ahead of a person. They may not be ready for the responsibilities a relationship carries. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t love their ex. In fact, they may love him or her too much and want to take a step back.

Given that this is the case, let’s take a look at what disasterous things can happen if you handle the situation badly.

For instance, if Kristi were to endlessly pursue Thad with calls, emails and texts, she wouldn’t be giving him the space he needed to get his head on straight. Letters, gifts, and singing songs under his window late at night would have the same effect.

One of Kristi’s friends suggested that she start flirting with all of Thad’s friends to make him jealous in an attempt to get back together with ex. This is a common recommendation because it is assumed that men will want what other men have. The problem is that by playing games now, Kristi would be jeopardizing her relationship in the future. And, there is a strong likelihood that Thad would just be angry at Kristi and push her even further away.

Another option Kristi considered was just ignoring him altogether. In some ways, because she was so hurt by Thad’s rejection, she wanted to punish him in turn.

But, if she is open and receptive but not pushy when they meet each other in social situations that are not contrived, she shows him what a wonderful woman and wonderful human being she is. She becomes someone that he wants to spend time with. She has allowed him to see her at her best.

Kristi has a number of options if she wants to get back together with ex. But, her best option is simply to listen to Thad. He’s said he needs space. So, she should give it to him. She should let him have the opportunity to decide whether to get back together.

My guess is that Thad will come back to Kristi and he’ll be ready to take the relationship to the next level. If Kristi plays her cards right, she will have a stronger relationship overall.

That’s how to get ex back in a healthy way.

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Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Together With – Get A Commitment

Sunday, July 4th, 2010

Jenny had a problem with her ex boyfriend. To get back together, she needed him to understand that she required real commitment.

Brian was an on again off again kind of man. He would get really serious with her for a while and then back off and say they should see other people. This had happened three times and Jenny was tired of saying Brian was her boyfriend and then her ex boyfriend. To get back together this time would require something more.

So, Jenny sat down and decided what she needed from Brian. She decided that she would pursue a two prong strategy.

First of all, she said that they could get back together one more time. If he called things off after that, she would move on with her life. Brian had to be really serious this time.

But the second prong was just as important. Jenny realized that part of the problem was hers. She always pushed to intensify the relationship too soon. Brian would comply initially but then ask for more space after a couple of weeks.

So, Jenny decided that this time, Brian would set the pace for the relationship. She wouldn’t pressure him to make commitments other than not seeing other women. Other than that fundamental principle, he would control the pace of the relationship.

When Jenny presented this solution to her ex boyfriend, to get back together with the understanding that he would control the pace, Brian was quite receptive.

Brian, like most men, needed to be the pursuer. When Jenny set the pace, she took away his ability to pursue her. He found that he felt both emasculated and suffocated at the same time.

So, Jenny stopped calling him. She let Brian call her. She stopped suggesting date ideas and let him set things up.

Jenny found that at first they didn’t go out as often as she would have liked. And, their dates were less “creative” than they would have been had she planned them.

But, she also found that the time they spent together was more meaningful than it had been in the past. Brian no longer felt like he was a fish out of water when he was with her. And, he no longer needed to take “breaks” from her.

Jenny first needed to decide what she wanted. She knew she wanted Brian and she knew she wanted him full time.

But, she also needed to figure out what Brian wanted. He wanted to have space and he also wanted to be in control of the relationship. Despite being a modern woman, Jenny realized that this was important to Brian.

Suddenly, Brian was no longer an ex boyfriend. To get back with your ex, figure out what you want and what he needs. Then deliver.

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How To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend

Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

There are many people like you who are struggling to find out how to get back with your ex boyfriend. The problem may be as with any seemingly insurmountable obstacle and that is all they can see is the mountain in front of them. It’s hard to process and figure out how you can fix what went so wrong. It can be overwhelming. It doesn’t have to be, though. The secret to learning how to get back with your boyfriend may be in the little things.

Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A: One bite at a time.

Q: How to get back with your ex boyfriend?
A: One step at a time.

What you need to do is carefully look at what it was that made what you had together so special. What we the little things that made the two of you smile? What was it that made him smile? If you can find those things and not only remind him of them but make him think of them then you have a chance. Was there some look that you gave that made him grin? Give him that look. Was there some song that he loved to hear? Hum a little of it or sing just a little very quietly if you can carry a tune. Even if you can’t sing, give a little smile when he’s around and sing just a little bit of it softly enough that he just barely hears it and laugh at yourself.

Give him a reason to give you just a little help with something. Show that you can still rely on him and you feel comfortable asking him for a little help. The difficult thing with this is not becoming a burden on him. You need to not bother him with trivial things or very often, just a little something every once in while. The point is to be like a good perfume worn right. It has to be sweet enough to catch his attention and wet his appetite but not strong enough to knock him out of his chair and into a coma.

How to get back with your ex boyfriend is going to involve a lot of premeditated and orchestrated maneuvers. You are going to have to arrange “accidental” and “spontaneous” meetings. It can’t seem like you are tying to manipulate and you don’t need to make yourself known. Be that person that he thinks he sees but don’t “draw attention” to yourself. Be there, be seen, but don’t “see” him except to maybe give a little smile or a wink but then disappear. Enough of that done correctly and you really have found the secret how to get back with your boyfriend.

When you really have your eye set it and want to know how to get back with your ex boyfriend, you are going to have to be sneaky.

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